


humour me ( i want to see the stars)

by miharuchii



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: AU Alternate Universe, Childhood, Discovering oneselves, F/M, Fulfilling Dreams, Growing Up, In which they're not part of SEVENTEEN, M/M, MC Seungkwan, Slight mention of bullying, Solo Rapper Vernon, Supporting families, Teenager insecurities, slight jicheol/coupzi, slight mention of homophobia, slight seoksoon/soonseok, verkwan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-11 01:54:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11704377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miharuchii/pseuds/miharuchii
Summary: In which Seungkwan succedes into becoming an important tv personality: a mix of host, comedian and actor.But there's always that thing, or person in this case, that doesn't make you completely happy about your accomplishments.That's because he remembers a little boy from his childhood who never, ever, laughed at his jokes.





	humour me ( i want to see the stars)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you won't be too grossed out by my english, I did my best.  
> This was actually really hard for me to write, content and language wise.  
> Note: not everything corresponds to their real lives in this fic.  
> Enjoy!

Seungkwan was the jockster of his class. Or to be completely honest, he still is.

When he was a little kid, around six-seven years old, he watched a lot of tv with his family; all kinds of programs, really. The list went from the oldest drama to the newest survival idols show.  
But what he actually looked forward to the most were the comedians who hosted them (or just took part of it occasionally, there wasn't much of a difference). The important thing for the little kid were the so called “comedy partners” that, yes, you could've find in every movie genre, but the comedians in those tv shows were a completely different deal, for sure.  
First of all, they were actually natural when they had the chance to speak. And secondly, he liked their extemporization.

Something that he was fricking good at.

He found out about this “skill” when he had to say a poem aloud for the usual Christmas Party held at the Boo household, back in his hometown, Jeju-do.  
He was just ten years old when it happened.  
Everyone had quite enough of those poems each and every counsins of his already told to all the family, and only the chubby kid was left. And the latter sympathized a lot with the adults, like, a lot.  
And that was probably for that reason that the boy became the centre of the entertainement for the next Christmas parties to come.  
He started speaking in a way that only reminded them of that certain comedian Jin Sanryeol, so sassy and blunt, not really expected by a kid who was born ten years prior.  
How could a kid his age know of such old skits and act them out like he was eating daily bread?  
His parents and sisters had wide eyes for all the duration of his speech, and when he had finally finished, all he got was...  
... clapping hands and loud laughters.  
...And some patting on his small shoulders.  
...And squeezed cheeks, but _details_.

From that moment on he knew what he wanted to do. (A ten years old who already thinks about his future seems a lot, right? Well, there's Boo Seungkwan for you: a genius.)  
He wanted to make people laugh. That was all he wanted.

 

# ♦♦♦

# 

 

He started middle school at the age of twelve; being born in January surprisingly gave him a lot of advantages, like starting school before his peers. He was a genius, remember?  
He made himself known at school from day one.

Seungkwan made a lot of friends thanks to his sense of humour. He was the pupil of his P.E. Teacher too, and for the other kids it was a blessing: the reason was that the teacher was a really strict person, and Seungkwan was so lucky to have him wrapped aroud his finger because _he actually made him laugh for the first time in his career, and made him soft for the rest of his middle school years_.  
And of course, it gave him a lot of advantages, and that was probably one of the reasons he was constantly bullied.  
Being funny wasn't everything, he learnt a few days after the first “attack”.  
He was actually adored by the girls, something the other guys _wished_ they would too.  
So, let's add that to the list of “ _Why Boo Seungkwan would be bullied_ ”.  
Oh, and let's not forget about his preferencies. It's not that he doesn't like girls, they're really nice to look at, but that's it.  
He likes boys, simply put.  
And if you're asking “oh my, how can a 12 years old know about his sexual preferencies?”, then I can answer that with a little trowback.

Father Boo and Mother Jwa, Seungkwan's parents, gave birth to three beautiful human beings, two girls and one boy, the latter being the younger of the three. Jinseol, Sojeong and Seungkwan where really attached to each other, their age difference didn't matter.  
Apart from their appearences, they had a lot in common. The boy and the eldest really liked fashion; Sojeong and Seungkwan were really good singers; they were so good that they had won lots of contests held in their hometown, but the boy never thought of doing it (as in, singing) for a living; he knew about the idol world as a lot of his friends were already casted to the most popular agencies in Seoul.  
He talked about it with his big sister and she agreed that if he wasn't certain about something, he didn't have to think about it too much. He was good, but he had to follow his dreams and not listen to what the others occasionally suggested him, without real interest.

To sum it up, Sojeong was training to become a soloist and Seungkwan decided to continue studies and become the entertainer he always wanted to be.

But while talking about boy groups and how they were incredibly gourgeous, Seungkwan was too focused to notice his sister's gaze fixed on him, looking at him in a concerned way.  
He still remembers their questions: “Do you like them, Kwan?”, “Would you want to be like them?”, “Which one are you talking about?”, “The one with the broad shoulders is goodlooking.”, “Did you actually say you want to be hugged by him?”, “Are you sure you want to kiss him?”.  
When he asked them what was the purpouse of all those quesions, he didn't get a real answer, but what they told him that windy night is still seared into his memory.

“ _You're amazing Seungkwan. That's one of the many reasons why we love you._ ” 

That was all he needed to keep going. Not even a stupid homophobe could've changed his mind.  
But that was _before_ his head was completely tucked in one of the school's toilets.  
It's not that he got insecure about himself after that experience, but he learnt to keep some things to himself for next time.

 

# ♦♦♦

# 

 

What changed his life completely, though, was a small kid, a peer of his, but in a class behind him.  
He wasn't a transfer student, but he looked like one. Although he had remarkable features and origins, as it seemed, he wasn't popular, and he was difficult to notice too.  
And in addition to everything said before, he never spoke.  
His classmates said that he made himself be heard only when the teachers called him to read. It was concerning to say the least, but it didn't mean that everything said before could have explained the next events.

He was in the pale kid's classroom, he befriended some of his underclassmates because they showed interest in his school radio. He was telling a joke at the moment and, knowing about the kid's immovable personality, he sat in front of him and locked eyes.  
He told the joke he had in mind, one of the most funny he knew, and waited for his reaction.  
… nothing. Wait, there's something.  
A distressed expression.  
Did he find his joke _lame_?  
What happend? Did he fail? For real? The guy in front of him clearly didn't appreciate his efforts.  
Was he making fun of him and not laughing? What did he do to deserve such a treatment?  
He was so shocked that he left the class without saying anything, too distraught to even notice that his friends were calling out for him.  
In the background, the pale kid sighed.

He could have never dreamt or asked for a more exciting life, as you can guess. His middle school days went on like this.  
Wake up.  
Eat breakfast.  
Run to school in order to not get caught by your usual bullies.  
Be the top of your class.  
Eat lunch.  
Meet with your friends.  
Try to make the pale kid laugh.  
If you don't succed, work harder for next time.  
Attend classes again.  
Go home, trying to not get caught by your bullies.  
Do homework and study for new funny jokes to tell the pale kid.  
Go to bed and try to sleep.  
“Try” being the key-word.  
The only thing in his mind was to put a smile on that baby face.  
His so-called “life-mission” was to make the boy laugh and he sweared that he would do it before graduation.  
He could do it, he believed in his skills. 

...But middle school reached the end too fast for him to even be conscious about it. And that meant one thing especially.  
His life-mission wasn't accomplished. He graduated, teared up a little, and went back home.  
Seungkwan knew that he had left something behind, something important he needed to achieve.  
But he was too young to remember and didn't even notice he already started high school.

 

# ♦♦♦

# 

 

Seungkwan met Seokmin and Soonyoung in Seoul Broadcasting High School.  
He decided to move to Seoul to study entertainement and finally fulfill his dream. He never even thought for a moment that he would have met what would have been two of the most important people of his life.  
Lee Seokmin was one year older than him and Kwon Soonyoung was two years ahead. They got along instantly because of their personalities (and their sense of humour). The former was from a wealthy enough family, the latter “came from the fields”, intending that he was born from the ground. He then found out later that he was actually a country-boy, grew up working with his father in a farm, played with breeding animals and cared a lot for his sweet chickens.

He loved them so much that he was actually dubious about leaving them and move to Seoul for indefinite time.

They exchanged the story of their lives when they first met. It felt so easy to talk for the three of them that people would actually assume that they had known each other since long. Seungkwan even told them about his sexual preferencies and all they answered was:  
“Cool. Hey, did you watch the news yesterday night? Big Bang are doing their first concert!”  
He felt quite offended by the lack of interest for his coming out. But then he remembered.  
_Dumb and dumber_ were special for a reason. 

 

Time flew really fast; Soonyoung's graduation came, they cried hugging each other like their lives were ending right there, in that moment.  
Then another year passed, and the time for Seokmin to graduate came; Soonyoung attended and cried again with his other two bestfriends. He kissed the graduate too, but no one mentioned it after it happened. He said it was a gift for finally being out of “ _prison_ ”.  
And Seungkwan went through his third year alone (not really but you get what I mean, right?) but he still studied a lot (he never excelled) and worked hard for his school radio. Then the day for him to leave high school came and he cried, but this time he didn't feel lonely, because he knew that he had more time to hang out with his favourite people from then on.

He felt accomplished of what he did. In fact, he was called by the most famous tv hosts to train and know more about the world of television. He agreed wholeheartedly, telling his two bestfriends about the news.  
He knew that things were going really good, and would go better and better.  
And the meeting with the love of his life was no exception.

 

# ♦♦♦

# 

 

Boo Seungkwan was twenty when he was called by his senior to interview a new artist of the korean music departement.  
He was still kind of training but his “hyung” believed in him and his skills as an host. He was given the chance to write the script and joust the interview however he wanted, but the only condition was to not meet the artist beforehand.

“I know you like rappers so take it as present from me!” that was what Shin Dongyup told him when he gave him the important task.

So the fateful day came, he had only a few minutes to look at the boy who he was going to interview. He made a few researches about him but nothing about his private life popped up. Apparently, that was the first ever interview in a talk show.  
Wow, he felt so honored!

And gosh, was he beautiful. Just his type.

His name was Vernon, he made his debut only a month ago and had already a huge fanbase. According to the internet, he made himself known on youtube because of his covers but when he started writing his own pieces, people liked them a lot and were literally smashed away by his talent. More girls became his fans when he showed himself to he world. He hit the jackpot, in simple terms.  
He was mixed, being a half korean and a half american, but lived in Korea pretty much all his life.  
His looks were outstanding: he had dyed blond hair and light brown eyes in which Seungkwan, during his chat with him, was literally immerging in. He was surprised by his confidence, too: Korea was acceptable of a few things, and one of them certainly wasn't the acceptance of multiple ethnicities in their country. But Vernon showed that he loved himself the way he was, fought for his rights and didn't fear to write things that koreans didn't sympathized so easily with. 

They sat comfortably and when they had the “okay” from the cameramen, both introduced themselves to the audience. After that, Seungkwan started with simple questions, proceeding with the most personal ones.  
“You know, I'm really interested in music. I would say I myself am quite good at singing. But what I personally search for is rappers like you who talk about society so freely, as if you aren't scared of censorship. Is there a secret for your conficence?”  
Vernon didn't take a second more to think and spoke up immediately: “That's just how I am. I want to sing, talk, narrate about what really concerns me; I do it because it hopefully helps younger ones to comprehend what's happening around them. I know that the kids have lots of insecurities: I talk about those too. If something worries you, you just have to talk it out to someone, or it will give you problems in the future.” He folded his hands, resting them on the table in front of him. “I did have my insecurities when I was younger. I didn't have the confidence that you all see in me now and that gave me trouble. Because of that I was bullied a lot, although no one ever noticed at that time.”  
The audience 'awed' at the statement. Seungkwan was personally touched too for obvious reasons.  
“You are twenty too, right? I can sort of understand you. I got bullied when i went to school, too, but I somehow stand up for myself and lived without regrets.” said Seungkwan, reaching for the rapper's warm hands. 

During the interview, the audience started to really like the duo.  
It wasn't that they were openly flirting but... it was like that, actually.  
The fact that Vernon laughed at Seungkwan's jokes made the latter feel like he finally accomplished something. It was probably for the way Vernon's mouth opened widely to show his white and perfect teeth, how his little buns appeared on his cheeks, how his eyes were literally sparkling and teared up for laughing too much. And at the same time, Seungkwan felt so satysfied: his smile was so wide that after the interview his cheeks hurt a lot, but he didn't mind at all.  
And the people who assisted at the platonic-flirting of the two boys went back to their houses feeling really happy and started to trend the newfound power-couple of the 21st Century on the internet.

They weren't exagerating, really.

Videos of the interview went viral; people even made footages of the rapper's laugh on loop, with the young host on the background smiling like an idiot because _he was so handsome he didn't even how could he have not fainted from the sight_.  
That was his statement when journalists questioned him about his chat with the handsome rapper.

After that day, Vernon and Seungkwan became friends.

 

# ♦♦♦

# 

 

It was a few days before Christmas and the Boo's family were organizing their usual party at their house in Jeju-do. What changed was the addition of his two bestfriends, now secretly dating (they didn't want to create a scandal of a simple citizen working in an important company, dating an increasingly popular choreographer of South Korea, y'know.), and, what was probably, a lovestruck Seungkwan uncapable of speaking for all the duration of their stay.  
His relatives where annoyed because their entertainer wasn't entertaining at all, so they concentrated on the food Madame Jwa made with care.

“Hey bud, you okay? Something happened?” Seokmin showed his concerns to the younger, who didn't really listen to what the former said and instead, kept on sighing for the nth time.  
Soonyoung walked up the two with a cocktail in one hand and an appetizer in the other, watching the unusally quiet boy with worry.  
“Oh my God, did he found out about Hansung's death?” the choreographer said with a surprised expression.  
His boyfriend punched him lightly on his shoulder: “You know better than us that ' _Hwarang Season 1_ ' ended last year! We watched it together too!”. After that, there was dead silence.  
Only to be broke by another sigh from Seungkwan.  
_Dumb and Dumber_ looked at each other and telephatically agreed to do something for their cute friend.

“What happened, Seungkwannie? Your quiet self weirds me out, y'know?” Soonyoung started.  
The blonde pouted, somehow feeling defeated: he didn't want to worry his favourite people in the whole world, especially for a simple matter like that. But they deserved to know what was troubling him, so he decided to finally speak out his worries.  
“I think I like someone, but I'm afraid the feeling goes beyond that...”  
With an excited tone, Seokmin answered: “For real? Who's the lucky boy?” the eldest tried to share his thoughts with a “Or unlucky in his case” but his boyfriend stopped him before it was too late.  
Seungkwan then summoned up the courage to talk again: “Do you remember that rapper I interviewed a few weeks ago?”  
After a couple of nods from the boys, he continued: “Well, we became friends and I eventually grew feelings for him because, let's face it, he's hot and fricking boyfriend material, so it's legit that I'd want him to be mine as well, right? But I'm a scaredy cat when it comes to feelings, as you well know, so I'm really scared to tell him and properly ask him out.”

The revelation didn't seem too shocking to his friends and for that reason Seungkwan angrily yelled:  
“Why aren't you reacting at all?!”  
“Do you really want our honest opinion?” Soonyoung placed a comforting hand on the younger's shoulder who nodded, “...We thought you were dumped by the guy and that you were just sulking right now.”  
“Actually, I thought you were sad because you'd found out he's hetero and made a fool out of yourself right in front of him and his girl, and you'd had a fight with her and the guy tried to calm things down and that you're plotting to murder his girlfriend and, I don't know, something like that? You are quite a dramaqueen, and a possible murderer, after all.”  
“Did you really thought that in such a short span of time?”  
“But babe, _didn't you_?”  
“...Yeah, I did.”  
“Guys, please, I wasn't dumped, didn't make a fool out of myself, I'm not a murderer, - _are you serious?_ \- and I don't even know if he likes boys in the first place!”  
“Okay boy, let's calm down first. What we were trying to say is... what was it, love?”  
“Honey, we weren't trying to say anything, at least _I wasn't_.”  
“Thank you guys, you were really useful. Like, a lot.”

The night went on like that, but Seungkwan was still thankful to them because, for a few minutes, he forgot about the boy that invaded all his thoughts all those weeks, nonstop.

 

Before going to bed, he decided to get some fresh air. He brought his phone with him, mustering the courage to send a message to Vernon, hoping he was still awake at that hour.  
He jumped a bit when he found out that there was an incoming call for him.  
It was Vernon.  
Did they ever talk on the phone? Not that he remembered. He would have if it ever happened, in fact.

With trembling hands, he accepted the call and brought the phone up to his ear. He answered softly, trying not to wake the guests up.  
“Vernon? To what do I owe the pleasure?”  
The voice from the other line seemed amused: “Just wanted to know how was your stay there. You told me you were looking forward to it because it's one of your favourite holidays... aaaand because you referred yourself as the jester of the party, sort of.”  
Seungkwan covered his mouth before his giggles could be heared: “I just entertain my family, it's nothing much. But yeah, it's a special holiday for me, especially because the dumb duo took part of it.”  
“With “dumb duo” you mean your bestfriends, right?”  
“Correct.”  
“I swear, you're the funniest person I've ever met in my life!”  
And he started laughing so aloud that Seungkwan was afraid he could be heard by everyone, throughout the cellphone. But he didn't mind.  
“Can you stop laughing? I'm trying to not smile, you weirdo! Your laugh is contagious!”  
Vernon eventually stopped, his smile still present on his lips: “Actually, I called you to ask you something, too.”  
Surprised by the revelation, the chubby boy took some time to answer: “... what is it then?”  
The rapper, with the deepest voice Seungkwan had ever heared in his life, answered with confidence:  
“Would you spend New Year's Eve with me?”

 

As soon as their stay ended, Seungkwan hurried packing his things (and his bestfriends' too) to get on the first plane available and fly to Seoul.  
He kissed his family on their cheeks, told them to take care of themselves, that yes, he would eat healthy food and no, he wasn't going to take _Dumb and Dumber_ to Jeju again anytime soon, and drove fast to the airport.  
The said duo _of course_ noticed their friend's behaviour but didn't dare to ask what was happening: they would have just get a killer look.  
“What did I say? He could be a fuckin' good murderer, with that gaze only!” 

 

# ♦♦♦

# 

 

They exchanged mails, texts and even called each other on the phone when they weren't too busy with work.  
They worked it out somehow. (Pun not intended.)  
And when New Year's Eve came, Seungkwan realized that he was too scared to even walk out of his door.  
He went to shopping with his second sister two days back, and he unfortunately had to tell her about the “date” because she was too eager to know what was up, knowing that his little brother never went to dates before, as Sojeong stated. She didn't say much, only to stay on alert and look beautiful.  
Two things he was _not_ confident about. Although he continuously told to his reflected self in the mirror that he was the most beautiful thing on the planet. It worked the first week, then he gave up because it unexpectedly gave him the opposite results.  
They had eventually found a good pair of jeans and a huge dusty rose polo neck sweater (her sister keeps telling him that every shade of pink suits him a lot and Seungkwan doesn't really say she's wrong).  
The day has come: he's wearing what they had bought a few days back, putted on some sweet perfume, tucked himself in his favourite long colored cream coat but still, no courage to come out and meet up with his date.

What actually stir him from his thoughts was an incoming call form the said date.  
He accepted it clearing his throat first: “I swear I'm heading out, give me a break, jeez!”  
“I don't see you walking out of your door, though.”  
“You don't... wait, you're in front of my house?”  
“I invited you, I think it's legit that I come get you, right?”

And that was how he ended up in Vernon's car, smelling of his masculine scent.  
“Did you plan to go somewhere specific?” he asked, his nervous hands rubbing all over his new purse.  
“There's a place I wanted to bring you to a long time ago.”  
A long time ago, Seungkwan thought, but we met last month?

Apparently, the place he was talking about was his house.

 

“Please, seat wherever. Would you like a drink? Something alcoholic?” Vernon offered with his distinct deep voice.  
The other blond decided to seat on the confortable couch. “It's okay, water is fine for now. I want to stay sober for later, you know! I want to drown myself in champagne, and give me the best you have, please!”  
“The best champagne for the best person, got it.” the artist said before disappearing in the kitchen.  
Seungkwan took the chance to wander around, considering the probability of that not really being the place Vernon lived in.  
The old forniture suggested that it was in fact inhabitated for a long time, but everything was clean (and he could say maniacally too). There were a lot of pictures all around the house, many of them hanged along the stairway.

He looked at them with curiousity but one especially captured his eyes.

The picture showed a family of four: a father, a mother and two children. One of them was _really_ familiar.  
What was really curious too were the parents of the two kids: they were clearly of different races, his father a korean and the mother from the west for sure. This explained the intriguing traits of the boy he fell in love with.

(Was it too soon to say that? Not that he minded too much, it was the truth, in fact.) 

What he thought was his sister, got her mother's trait too, and found out the boy got a lot from his dad. He had the same smile.  
He didn't notice Vernon was already at his side, with a glass of water on his hand.  
“It's my family, but I guess you figured it out already.”  
Seungkwan jumped a little for the surprise, but took the glass with a sincere smile on his lips.  
“You were handsome from day one, I envy you.”  
“Weren't you?” the rapper said bluntly, making Seungkwan choke on his water.  
“Are you kidding me? I was really ugly when I was a kid. My personality was the only thing that made me somewhat popular.”  
“Let me guess, you were the jester of your school too, right?”  
“Yeah, how did you know?”  
“I told you. I guessed.”

They giggled and Vernon guided the other to the hall and let him sit again on the couch.  
“There's a reason I brought you here. Can you wait me here for a minute? It won't take long, I promise.”  
After the chubby boy nodded, the blonde smiled softly and caressed his shoulder, then sat up and went to another room.  
Seungkwan didn't want him to notice his blush, so he hide himself behind a cushion.

Was he going to do what he thought he was?

Did he have to reject him, like his sister told him to?

Sojeong didn't exactly tell him to “reject” him, but to be aware. He could loosen up a little, right?

His face was still covered by the soft cushion when Vernon came back with something in his hands, but the boy couldn't exactly see what it was. When the rapper called him out and asked him what was he doing, Seungkwan immediately came out of his “shelter” and sighed out of relief (he was actually a bit disappointed but can you blame him?).  
“This is the family photo album my mother kept in the storage closet.”

He browsed the album only to stop midway.  
It showed a middle school Vernon.  
A very familiar sight, for Seungkwan. Not because he saw it from the picture that was hanged on the wall.  
He saw this kid _personally_.

...Oh, he was a moron.

That kid was Choi Hansol, the one who never smiled when Seungkwan tried to make him laugh.  
Were he and the beautiful boy right in front of him the same person?  
The way Vernon was looking at him was the answer. 

_Yes, he is_.

The young host traced the picture in his hands with a thumb, oh so gently, because until that moment he didn't realize he missed that kid.  
And now he was by his side. He met him again a month ago and didn't even recognize him.  
He looked at him with tears in his eyes. The newfound old friend smiled softly, gently caressing his cheeks and trying to dry the tears that threatened to fall from his pretty eyes.

“... I'm sorry. That's what I wanted to tell you before we parted.”  
Seungkwan's sobbings were more loud now.  
“Honestly, what I wanted to do the most, was to smile and laugh with you. But, hell, I was a kid and my insecurities took over me. I blame myself for not making you happy. I know it pained you a lot. It's my fault, I admit it, and I will never forgive myself.”  
“But... what was the problem...? A laugh is not something you can forcefully hold back. If something is funny, usually a person smiles... what happened to you?”  
Vernon breathed deeply before answering: “... promise me you won't hit me.”  
“Is it that serious?”  
“... I was ashamed of my braces.”

And only their breaths could be heard in that room. They looked at each other like they were the only important thing for them.  
“... braces.”  
“I didn't talk a lot in class as you well know. I didn't even have friends for that reason. I was afraid you would see my braces and wouldn't talk to me ever again. It was a coincidence that I had removed them when you graduated. I always enjoyed your jokes and only laughed at them when I had the chance to go to the school's restroom at the end of classes. You know what happened form then on? The upperclassmen came up with a urban legend about a student of our istitute who died because he laughed too much and his laughters could be heard from the bathroom of the 2nd floor, only to scare the first years off. Can you believe that? I was such a loser back then.”

He didn't realize Seungkwan was trying hard not to laugh at what he said, but he couldn't resist anymore and eventually bursted.  
“That wasn't funny at all, what are you laughing for...” the rapper said, feeling embarrassed.  
Seungkwan hugged the other, wrapping his neck with his arms. He rested his head against the other's, smiling and feeling his face burning for the embarrassement.  
“Is that copyrighted? Can I tell it to my collegues next time?”  
“You're evil...! I just told you my deepest secret and the first thing you do is trying to embarrass me by telling everyone. Why am I even in love with you?”  
Seungkwan then looked up to Vernon and started to stare at each other with wide eyes.

They couldn't hear the voices announcing the end of the countdown, signaling the start of the new year.

 

# ♦♦♦

# 

 

“What happened then?”  
“Nothing. I brought him home.”  
“So you're telling me that you decided unanimously to date each other, but still didn't get your first kiss?”  
Vernon amusingly typed on his notebook, glancing at his mobile from time to time, waiting for a message from his ' _still, not really, but actually, even though they weren't, but that would be nice, okay let's do it_ ' boyfriend.

It was actually really difficult to come to an agreement. Alas, becoming each other's important person.  
They felt like they were in their honeymoon but separated, Seungcheol remarked after the artist told him about that day.

Seungcheol was the CEO of the company Vernon worked for, but first of all, bestfriend since high school years. It was only thanks to him if Vernon was confident of himself now. And he introduced him to the world of rap, so extra points for him.  
Anyway, the main problem was _kissing_.  
Don't worry, the urge was strong, unbelievably strong: his eyes couldn't look away from his, now, boyfriend's lips, as much as he tried not to.  
He loved them, especially when he pouted. But it didn't felt right at that moment, and that was probably what Seungkwan thought too.

“ _Dude_ , you're hella slow. You've got to be more aggressive in a relationship! Take me and Jihoon for example-”  
“You really want to compare your love story to mine?”  
Seungcheol furrowed his thick eyebrows. “What's wrong with my love story?”  
“Do I have to remind you that he thought you were stalking him? Anyone would have if a guy did what you did, you perv.”  
“ _I was in love_! Can you blame me for having feelings?”  
“I do blame you. One does not simply knock on ones door and leave anonymous gifts and letters. Every. Single. Night. Can you even imagine how scared he was?”  
Seungcheol seemed to think for a moment, then retorted: “Jihoon is not that innocent, you know. When he found out it was me all along, he beat me up really hard. But you know what? While he was beating me, he thanked me for the sweet words I wrote and the attention I gave him!”  
The blonde shook his head in resignation: “That's why I call you the ' _crazy couple_ '. Birds of a feather flock together, as they say.”  
His friend then cleared his throat: “Anyways, we were talking about something else. If you want something from him, man up, be the one that wears the pants!”  
“He's a man too, you know.”

Choi Seungcheol was an excelent and clever boss, but sometimes he would appear really stupid in the others' eyes.  
“That's not the point! Just think for a moment. If you didn't get to kiss him yesterday, it is less likely to happen soon.”  
He _did_ think about that possibility, but he didn't ask Seungkwan to be his boyfriend only to kiss him.  
“It's okay, Cheol. It's not that I'm dying to. I obviously would like to pepper him with kisses, but that has to be a mutual thing. I don't want to force him to do something he doesn't want to do yet.”

The CEO stared deeply into the other's eyes, then gave him a powerful slap on the back, nearly making Vernon fall off his chair.  
“He's the right one, then. That's all I had to know. I'd like to meet him in person someday, though!”  
“No Seungcheol, we won't have a double date with you and Jihoon. In your dreams.”

 

# ♦♦♦

# 

 

Seungkwan talked to his sisters that night after his date.  
He blushed to all the duration of the call as Jinseol and Sojeong made fun of him and his embarrassing short-term memory, the reason being not recognizing Hansol sooner.  
When they finally stopped, the eldest tried to make him feel better, saying that things were surely going to be okay.

“ _Okay_ ” was a pleasant understatement, he found out not too lately.

Because of work, the two boyfriends didn't get time to meet at all, but were able convince their bosses (his bestfriend in Vernon's case) and managed to get a day or two off.

And to go for their awaited, official, first date.

 

With entranced gazes, occasional hands touching, secret smiles exchanged, irresistable caresses, they had the time of their lives.

“Ever since you told me about your braces,” began Seungkwan, holding hands with Hansol (that's how he learned to call him; it suited him the most, in his opinion), “I got curious and tried to imagine your smile with those star shaped metal thingies. Is it weird of me for thinking about that?”  
The rapper gave his hand a squeeze and smile softly without responding.

“It's not that I don't like how you smile now, it's the opposite actually.”  
He moved in front of the rapper to take some time to look at him and admire his features.

“But I'm sure I would have liked those stars if your smile was as sincere as this one. I see them now too. In your eyes.”  
Hansol moved himself closer to the other blond, making their nose nearly touch.  
“That's only when you are the one who makes me smile.”

The remaining centimeters zeroed and the contact of their lips felt incredibly satisfing.

 

# ♦♦♦

# 

 

{ _A few months later._ }

One spring day he got invited again by his favourite female comedian in her talk show. He remembers that day like it was yesterday.  
She introduced him as usual, with her big voice: “We have on our left our favourite and promising young host, Boo Seungkwan! How are you doing, dear?”  
He bowed a little to the audience in front of him, his sitting position not really helping him: “Thank you for inviting me here again, Yeongja noona. And I've been good, I'm happy how things are going for now.”  
“I see you smiling more often than ever, not that you didn't before, but your eyes are literally shining!”  
“It's probably because I've found what I was unawarely searching for. That's all I can say for now.”  
The woman visibly smirked: “You're hiding something from us, I get it. I can quite guess what you're refferring to, though.”  
“Oh, please, spare me!”  
“Okay, that's enough teasing for now! Let's welcome our first guest to the studio! He's a freshman in his high school and his classmates always scare him off with ghost stories, especially the ones about his own institute...”  
That's when Seungkwan suddenly remembered something.  
“Umh... interesting.”  
“Seungkwanie, do you have something to share?”

It didn't take a lot for Seungkwan to organize his thoughts. He grinned at his senior, his confidence could be heard dinstinctively in his tone.  
He had to apologize to his boyfriend, soon after the shoots.

“ _... Have you ever heard about the boy who died because he laughed too much?_ ”

**Author's Note:**

> This was literally a rollercoaster, you guys. I believe I spent two weeks writing and editing this nonstop, I tried to make this as comprehensible as possible.  
> What I wanted to concentrate your attention on the most was how a person could grow phisically, along with their mentality and that the things you do as a kid can be forgotten easily. What doesn't change is one's dream job, in which I reflect myself a lot: Seungkwan worked hard to be the best entertainer (in this fic) as I always tried my hardest to improve my drawing skills and I'm actually going to study to be a professional. This makes you proud of yourselves like nothing can ever do, imo.
> 
> That's what I like about Seungkwan. In real life, he always does his best singing, and came to point where his voice can convey feelings, something that is definitely not simple. He overcame his insecurities, didn't listen to the people who said that he couldn't do it as much as he tried. He believed in his team and the ones who genuinely love him, but mostly in himself. 
> 
> I'm sorry for ranting, but I felt it was necessary. I see a lot of antis and don't really undestand their hate on a person who only wants to enjoy what he loves to do the most. He's a beautiful human being, and he probably knows it too. He knows he grew up well.
> 
> Anyway, I hope it was a good pastime for you! Let me know what you think, have a nice day!


End file.
